New Hope Blog

Why Are We So Mean Sometimes?

Submitted by wibnewton on Wed, 11/16/2011 - 09:01

I know there are many physicians that walk out of their practice every day shaking their heads in disbelief of how people let themselves get into such poor physical health. Well, there are times when counselors do something very similar. I find myself walking out of my office very often shaking my head in disbelief. I am just amazed at how mean spouses can be to each other and how unhealthy they have allowed their marriage to devolve.

Making Your Marriage "Drought Resistant"

Submitted by wibnewton on Thu, 10/13/2011 - 16:59

I was raised in lush and green West Virginia. One didn’t have to go far to find a stream, spring, pond, lake or river. If you could find full sun (which often was a problem), stick a seed in the ground and watch it grow with little or no tending. IN CONTRAST, consider the panhandle of Texas, where I have lived for 18 years. It is beautiful in its own right, once you get use to different shades of brown. Water is scarce, dirt is mostly clay on top of rock, and the sun is scorching.

"Missing The Point: Homosexuality"

Submitted by wibnewton on Tue, 10/04/2011 - 08:25

I recently attended a workshop where this excerpt from Tony Campolo was shared. It touched me deeply for a variety of reasons. I wanted to share it with my readers.-Wib

“MISSING THE POINT: HOMOSEXUALITY”

by Tony Campolo*

What critics of my beliefs about homosexuality do not understand is that I’m trying to make up for a horrendous failure during high school.

My View of Heaven

Submitted by wibnewton on Thu, 09/15/2011 - 10:43

I have really enjoyed the Sunday series on “Heaven”. What I have really enjoyed is rediscovering what the Bible says about this wonderful place that is to come. I have found myself daydreaming about this new heaven and new earth that is going to come down and replace what we have now. I hope I get to run again the way I use to when I was 19. I even hope that we have competitive sports, snorkeling on a barrier reef, coconut cream pie, and cold days by the fireplace. Everything that I have enjoyed and hope to enjoy on this earth, I hope to experience even better in heaven.

I also am looking forward to what will be absent.

How to Have a Large Funeral

Submitted by wibnewton on Tue, 09/13/2011 - 11:10

“The older you are when you die, the smaller your funeral.” I don’t know who said that but I have seen instances where that has been true. However, I don’t think that has to be the case. I agree that if your friends are all your age or older and as time passes, you could outlive them.

On the other hand, I am a strong believer that your influence should grow with age, not lessen. If so, wouldn’t that mean that the older I get, the larger my funeral celebration would be.

Is Marriage Really That Hard?

Submitted by wibnewton on Thu, 09/01/2011 - 10:23

Do you agree marriage is hard?

The couple entered into my office with grimaced faces. The air in the room dropped at least 20 degrees. They sat down and began a litany of offenses the other person has been responsible. Fingers are pointed and blame is fired from one person to the other.

Then I asked a question I often ask couples during our first visit.

Idealism & Cynicism

Submitted by wibnewton on Mon, 08/22/2011 - 08:59

“Scratch the surface of most cynics and you find a frustrated idealist – someone who made the mistake of converting his ideals into expectations”. (Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline, p 146)

Rebuilding Trust: When There is Infidelity

Submitted by wibnewton on Mon, 07/25/2011 - 09:48

A survey of the most recent studies shows that 44 to 50% of men and 25% of women have affairs, and for women there is an indication that rates are rising. It is believed that couples in therapy, around 55% are dealing with infidelity. I had another therapist tell me that her research also indicated that if a couple decides to stay and work on the marriage, that over 80% of those couples became stronger after the affair. This was largely due to the fact that the affair was a symptom of a deeper issue in the marriage.

Rebuilding trust must take place if the marriage is to ever thrive again after an affair.

Rebuilding Trust: The Offended (Part II)

Submitted by wibnewton on Tue, 07/12/2011 - 07:10

Continuing the discussion on rebuilding trust in a relationship after a violation has occurred, there are two other points I would like to make.

Rebuilding Trust: The Offended (Part I)

Submitted by wibnewton on Tue, 07/05/2011 - 14:08

I handed her the teddy bear I had in my office. She had been walled off from her husband for several months and was having a terrible time getting over how he had hurt her through his affair. It was one of several ways he had hurt her through the years and finally she had enough.

I asked her to imagine that the bear represented her heart as it pertains to her marriage. “Where would you place your heart in proximity to him?” She put the bear behind her back. She told me it had been there since she found out about the last affair. “Where had you placed it before then”, I asked. She put it in his lap. I watched his entire body tense.

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