In my office, next to my desk, is a set of banker bookshelves. My wife, Janice, encouraged me to get them since they went with my desk. I really like them but my idea of what to put in them is somewhat limited. I always figured bookshelves were to have books in them. Janice, in her wonderfully creative way, began to interplay the books with pictures, glassware, and other items to "dress up" the shelves.  [more]

When people hear me talk about how their prayers are keeping them miserable and stuck, they look at me as though I'm a reprobate. I quickly say that it is not that they are praying that keeps them stuck. That's good. That's great!!! The problem comes when their prayers never change. Imagine the following scenarios: [more]

Sue and John arrive at Rick Husband International Airport at two different times, two different airlines, from two different departure cities. Steve Trafton picks them up and welcomes them to Amarillo with his friendly West Texas smile and draw.. The couple barely looks at each and only politely smiles at Steve. Steve thinks to himself, "They are right where they need to be." [more]

"Scratch the surface of most cynics and you find a frustrated idealist - someone who made the mistake of converting his ideals into expectations". (Peter Senge, The Fifth Discipline, p 146) [more]

 "The older you are when you die, the smaller your funeral." I don't know who said that but I have seen instances where that has been true. However, I don't think that has to be the case. I agree that if your friends are all your age or older and as time passes, you could outlive them. [more]

I have really enjoyed the Sunday series on "Heaven". What I have really enjoyed is rediscovering what the Bible says about this wonderful place that is to come. I have found myself daydreaming about this new heaven and new earth that is going to come down and replace what we have now. I hope I get to run again the way I use to when I was 19. I even hope that we have competitive sports, snorkeling on a barrier reef, coconut cream pie, and cold days by the fireplace. Everything that I have enjoyed and hope to enjoy on this earth, I hope to experience even better in heaven. [more]

I recently attended a workshop where this excerpt from Tony Campolo was shared.  It touched me deeply for a variety of reasons.  I wanted to share it with my readers.-Wib   "MISSING THE POINT: HOMOSEXUALITY" by Tony Campolo*   What critics of my beliefs about homosexuality do not understand is that I'm trying to make up for a horrendous failure during high school.

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I was raised in lush and green West Virginia. One didn't have to go far to find a stream, spring, pond, lake or river. If you could find full sun (which often was a problem), stick a seed in the ground and watch it grow with little or no tending. IN CONTRAST, consider the panhandle of Texas, where I have lived for 18 years. It is beautiful in its own right, once you get use to different shades of brown.  Water is scarce, dirt is mostly clay on top of rock, and the sun is scorching.

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 I know there are many physicians that walk out of their practice every day shaking their heads in disbelief of how people let themselves get into such poor physical health.  Well, there are times when counselors do something very similar.  I find myself walking out of my office very often shaking my head in disbelief.  I am just amazed at how mean spouses can be to each other and how unhealthy they have allowed their marriage to devolve. It hurts my heart to hear the name calling, sarcasm and blaming that is used in an attempt to hurt this person whom they had chosen at one time to love, honor and cherish.  The volume could be loud, the posture attacking or defensive, or there could be stone, cold silence.  These are all symptoms of what was once a relationship filled with hope is now just filled with pain and often regret. Somewhere along the way the focus was moved off of the other person.  The desire to please and to be considerate was exchanged for what "I want" or where "I hurt".  Selfishness replaced service.  Self focus replaced empathy.  How could this Jekyll to Hyde, 180° shift take place? On TV, when one is investigating a crime, there is a common theme voiced when trying to find the offender.  "Follow the money."  Well, in relationships, it can be almost as simple. In the words of a colleague of mine, "follow the pain."   We do a lot of crazy things when we cope with the pain we have.  We usually call that pain, "buttons", although we often do not slow down our reaction enough to determine what those buttons are.  We just know they got pushed and we are reacting to them.  Our partners are always pushing our buttons.  There is a long list of buttons, and it can include feeling rejected, alone, inadequate, failure, judged, worthless, and out of control.  In an earlier blog, I talked about how some of those pains developed, so I won't go there again.  What I would like to zero in on is the one key to prohibiting that destructive behavior that is so mean. We have choices.  We can either choose to be mean, to react out of our pain, or we can choose a different, more compassionate route.  For this to take place, humility must be present. Humility is not giving in, avoiding or being a doormat.  Humility comes from a clear knowledge as to who you are.  It is a strength that allows one to stand in the middle of a storm that is pressing down on you and not giving into the emotional tone of the moment.  The person who is humble accepts responsibility for when he is wrong and does not have to prove to the other if he is right.   In Gayle Erwin's, The Jesus Style, it is noted that it is Jesus' humility that gave Him strength to say, "No," when people wanted him to do things that was contrary to his purpose.    He did not give in to being manipulated (Mark 12:13-15). He did not allow His abilities to do signs and wonders to be used as a sideshow (Mark 8:11-13).  He withdrew into the hills when the people were coming to force Him to be king (John 6:15).    It was humility that helped Him because He knew who He was and what His purpose was.  When couples are hurting each other so deeply, I see no humility.  They lose their direction and their identity.  They only thing they are focused on is protecting themselves at the expense of the relationship.  "I'm sorry" and "Please forgive me" are absent from their communication.  Even those in Christ park their identity in Him and return to the old person they had supposedly "taken off"   (Colossians 3). [more]