Blog

The Lost Art of Conversation: How We ‘Win’ Ourselves Out of Intimacy

October 11, 2025

Respectful Curiosity: The Conversations That Shifted My View I was flying home from a youth minister conference early in my career, sitting across from a young college-age girl. Somehow we started a conversation about religion. She had a lot of doubts about God and Christianity, and for an hour and a half, we talked. The […]

The Curse of Fleeting Contentment

October 4, 2025

Why Your Marriage Needs Contentment More Than a New Home We did it! We finally pulled the trigger! For years, I’d been grumbling about living in the city, tired of listening to the neighbors’ dogs trying to audition for the Canine Choir of Chaos, and the never-ending traffic noise. Janice and I both dreamed of […]

Stepping Out of the Bucket

May 28, 2024

A Lesson in Facing Fear Little League dreams can get sidelined by fastballs. At least, that’s what happened to me. I had the fielding skills, but the batter’s box was my personal House of Pain. Back then, there were no T-Ball tee-ups or coaches teaching the finer points of swing mechanics. Just a gaggle of […]

Ditching the Bubble Wrap and Embracing the Grit

January 25, 2024

The value of life’s inevitable bumps and scrapes. Have you ever watched someone stumble on a pebble, sending them into a tailspin, while another scales a mountain with barely a flinch? We’ve all witnessed this: individuals seemingly fragile, shattered by everyday inconveniences, and others with hearts of tempered steel, unfazed by life’s harshest blows. Why […]

Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal: Is It Possible?

November 7, 2023

Have you ever found yourself at a crossroads, facing the daunting task of rebuilding trust after a betrayal? It’s a challenge we’ve all encountered at some point in our lives. When a relationship is fractured by betrayal, we often ponder, “Can things ever be the same again?” The question looms large: should we attempt to […]

Tough Reminder from a Precious Pup

August 18, 2023

He was a nameless and lost 11 week old German shepherd puppy. With no tags or id chip, he made his way to a VA hospital and then directly to a veterinarian.  A contact of ours knew we were looking for a black GS and gave us a call.  We fell in love with our […]

When the Eyes Look Back

July 8, 2023

I had just spent a week with my dad who was staying at my brother and sister-in-law’s home.  Dad had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and we knew he only had a short time left on this earth.  He had survived five other cancers in his life, but this one was going to get him. […]

It’s Not All About Sex

October 7, 2022

I interviewed over 40 men recently about their challenges in marriage. Their main concerns were: -not knowing what to do when their wives are emotional. -knowing how to validate their wives even though they disagree with them. -the challenges of working together as a team and being on the same page. -feeling like a failure […]

Kindness

May 19, 2015

The smell of my grandpap’s Marsh Wheeling Stogies wafted throughout the cab of his company truck.  I sat holding a glass gallon jug, off on an adventure with him which included a stop at the local Tastee Freeze to get their special brew of root beer.  My 6 year old fingers held tightly to the […]

To Give or Recieve

January 1, 2015

The conversation around the Christmas celebration dinner table seemed easy enough.  The first question was, “What was your favorite gift you remember receiving as a child?”  Fond memories flooded everyone, who included five people ranging in ages 25 to 93.  Bicycles, dolls, wagons, etc. were commonly shared as stories of Christmases past were happily shared. […]

Holding Grudges

January 1, 2015

My wife and I were preparing to attend my 40th high school reunion when she commented she had not had time to trim her long hair.  I thought to myself, “How hard is it to trim hair?” I confidently volunteered for the task.  She only wanted an inch trimmed off the very tips.  I trimmed closer […]

“Just a Member”

December 21, 2014

It has been 7 years since I stepped out of working for congregations as a minister and started my own counseling business.  I sat in church service this past Sunday, as I have since then, realizing that I was “just a member.”  And I must tell you it was wonderful, enlightening and insightful. Wonderful in […]

Wherever He Leads

April 2, 2014

I had a tear in my eye this morning during church service.  I looked over to my wife and she also was wiping tears from her eyes.  It wasn’t about anything the preacher said or even a passage that pricked our hearts.  It was the singing behind us. We are visiting a church that has […]

Deciding to Enjoy

March 27, 2014

I found myself doing something very surprising the other day.  I was admiring the scenery in Amarillo, Texas.  For those who have never been in west Texas, especially Amarillo, let me see if I can paint a picture for you.  Let me use my home state of West Virginia to draw a comparison.  What Mountaineer […]

How the Ministry Affects the Preacher’s Kids

October 18, 2013

How the Ministry Affects the Preacher’s Kids This is a great little article that I hope reminds us of the unforeseen affects of being a “Preacher’s Kid”.

It’s Time for Some Rules

August 27, 2013

It is Time for Some Rules Summer is coming to an end and the sigh heard around the country is the relief that the children are headed back to school.  Often, with the return to school comes a return to some structure in the home.  This usually means RULES. One of the hardest lessons I […]

Discovering Your Strengths

August 27, 2013

It took me 25 years in the full-time, paid ministry before I discovered this truth.  It changed my life and the direction of my career.  It helped explain why my ministry had progress the way it had.  Many questions I had about me were answered. In 2004, I read a book called, Now, Discover Your […]

Divorce Rate Among Christians

August 15, 2013

Divorce Rate Among Christians This article gives great news for Christian marriages.  Read on.

My Amish Adventure: My Last Thoughts

August 11, 2013

I really hated to leave my friends but probably hated more coming back to the busyness that I have come to know as “life”. Janice and I drove for almost 20 hours before either one of us turned on the radio. We talked most of the way back home, sharing snippets of what we had […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 6, Saying Goodbye

August 10, 2013

I woke up this morning with a question from Janice.  “Would you like breakfast tacos with salsa?” We had gone almost an entire week without salsa and Janice is in withdrawal.    We did eat at a local restaurant in Cambridge on Sunday.  When we left we were deciding whether to return later.  Janice commented […]

This is Really Part B

August 8, 2013

Today was a long day.  We were finally able to come to a plan on how to help the family of focus.  The community has really wanted to do the right thing for them but just didn’t have the expertise to tackle it.  A plan now is set and I think it really looks good. […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 5, General Insights (Part B)

August 8, 2013

My ‘Amish Adventure: Day 5, Some General Insights (Part A)

August 8, 2013

During last night’s talk, one of the Amish women leaned over to Janice and asked her age.  When Janice told her that she was 57, the young lady of 35 asked how she kept up her looks.  She wanted to know where her gray hair was and then Janice showed her by pointing out her […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 4, Keeping Up With The Need

August 7, 2013

I arrived at Jake and Fanny’s house located across from one of the many saw mills in the area.  The lawn had just been mowed very short by two of their girls (8 & 10), with the old fashioned rotating push mowers.  Also, as usual, unless you were working in the fields or shop, no […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 3, A Glimpse Behind the Curtain

August 6, 2013

After a 50 degree night in the hills of eastern Ohio, I pulled up to Sam’s house for another day of ministry.  We started with a prayer and drove to a house where two families greeted me.  The first family was hosting the day’s events while the other was a major reason for my coming. […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 2, Different Culture but Same Pains

August 4, 2013

On day two of my time with the Amish, we arrive on schedule at my host family’s home.  They had already been up for four hours and finished their morning chores of feeding the animals, starting the kitchen activities along with the host of other duties needed to keep the farm moving. I had been […]

My Amish Adventure: Day 1, The Initial Perception

August 4, 2013

After picking up our contact to the Amish community we headed toward the location of the fundraiser.  The community had decided to raise some funds for some special needs they had as well as to help subsidize my trip.  My job is to help them learn how to help each other better with some special […]

Caution. Don’t Read This Book.

July 17, 2013

I deleted this post by accident.  So, here it is again.  Do Not Read, Pagan Christianity by Frank Viola and George Barna, unless you want your western world view of “church” challenged to the core.  I personally loved the book because I have always had a drive to understand what the 1st Century church was like. […]

A Different Kind of Counselor

July 15, 2013

A pump shotgun has a distinctive sound when it loads a shell into the chamber. There is one chatter or rattling sound that clears the chamber, followed by another similar sound that pushes the next shell ready to fire. When you are a hunter, that sound is invigorating. Not so much if you feel like […]

Helping Our Children Feel

July 11, 2013

I sat listening to two men talk about raising white tail deer. One of these men was very passionate about this endeavor and you could tell it by what he said and especially how he was saying it. I listened to another person talk about how excited she gets at Christmas. She spoke with glee […]

Owning It or It Owning You?

July 8, 2013

“The more you own stuff, the more the stuff owns you.”  This truism hit me hard last week. My wife and I had always wanted to get a travel trailer.  When the boys were younger, we enjoyed the camping so much with other families.  It was inexpensive and we could go in a moment’s notice.  […]

What is Up With Pastors?

June 26, 2013

I have wanted to do this type of blog for quite a while.  A blog that focuses on ministry and ministers.  Since I was a full-time, paid minister for 31 years and now work with them through my business, I realize they present a unique challenge.  Hopefully, what is brought up in these posts will […]

“Calm seas neve…

June 24, 2013

“Calm seas never produce skilled sailors”

Good Mirrors

June 24, 2013

I did something pretty painful the other morning.  I looked in the mirror.  Not the typical “good enough” glance I give myself every morning to be sure I wiped the toothpaste off my chin.  I mean I really took a close look.  I knew I used to have a chin and my hair seems to […]

Master of The Universe

June 15, 2013

I am just convinced that some people think that walking out their marriage with a critical, negative bent toward their spouse is actually making their marriage better.  If their spouse would just sweep the floor this way, do the laundry like they were told, shop at the other store or listen to their unsolicited instructions […]

Raising “Us”

June 14, 2013

Raising children is probably one of the most challenging jobs I have ever had. I have backpacked over mountains, survived three-a-day football practices in scorching heat, and I have swum out of frigid rushing waters to safety. All of these experiences pale to the amount of energy and time that I have expended as a […]

Avoid Becoming The Grumpy Old Man

June 13, 2013

How do you get older and not get grumpier?  How do you reach 60 years old and beyond filled with an attitude that brings joy to people around you and peace inside of you. This is a big question!  I would imagine AARP magazine is filled with articles on how to thrive at this time […]